dream journal

welcome to my subconscious! it's fun, it's clean and it bounces a lot. enjoy. more dreams are archived through a link at the bottom.
5 february 1997
sorry to say it, but it looks like my once beloved dream journal is now officially defunct. i'll leave these up here in case anyone happens to stumble past. at least it lasted longer than some other attempted long-term projects.
11 sep - 29 october geez... sorry about the time lapse. it's not like i haven't been sleeping, cuz boyoboy have i ever been getting a lot of sleep these days. mostly my dreams (which i can't remember very well anymore, because i've fallen out of practice) have been about being chased by the police... interpretation? no, thanks.
10 sept
blanket outside sports center on lawn: me with suzie sitting on bench) and michelle and someone else on blanket. i'm about to go for a swim. "where's stu?" "asleep." "where's dave?" "on the porch." momentarily consider going to "the porch" rather than swimming, but go towards pool with suzie, my intended path. in a window above the pool (outdoor pool, but not THE outdoor pool) i see darcy wearing suzie's orange flowery dress. "hey! there's darcy and she's wearing your dress." "yeah, i lent it to her yesterday, but i want it back." darcy spots us through the window and runs towards us. as she gets closer she turns into allen poole, still wearing the dress, but wearing it over jeans, t-shirt and leather biker jacket. it doesn't fit well. i suspect suzie is concerned about the well-being of her favorite dress, but she says, "it only had a month of wear left in it anyway, but don't tell him that." allen apologizes, says he ripped the lining in the chest of the dress. "i was tryingto figure out how you had the front arranged the last time you were wearing it and i ripped it." "it's okay," she says, "you needed a broach."
8 sept
i am visiting san francisco, staying with justin. we go out to dinner somewhere in chinatown but our food never comes. we don't do anything about it, we just leave. justin wants to show me something in teh castro, but won't tell me what it is -- he wants it to be a surprise. we get there and there is a new mall on the corner of 18th and castro (or thereabouts) which glows in neon brightness against the dark city night. the mall is called the "mallangle" (a contraction of mall + triangle) and is the world's first 100% queer themed mall. justin is very excited about this and i think it's kinda neat but i worry about the social, political and economic ramifications of normalizing one's identity through the mall. i also wonder if it would be appropriate for ME to shop there since i am not queer. i know, however, that the mall will be a great success given its location and political bent what with the overabundant white liberal guilt + rampant consumerism in san francisco.
6 sep
darcy and i move to a new house to be shared with countless other reedies/ex-reedies. the dining room is huge, like in hearst castle, and someone is in there laying out fleshy pink mushroom in neat little piles of eighths all over the floor. the long dining table is barely visible under the mountain of mushrooms heaped atop it. the shrooms stink like shrooms and i start to get sick to my stomach.
3 sept
i go to the film center to check out a camera, but since it is the end of the year's term, there are few peopel around and the place is empty -- everything is boxed up and it looks like they're moving out. i ask for a camera, "i'd like the canon with single frame shots, please," i say. he hands me one, but it's the automatic one without the single frame option and i say nonono that won't do because you see i'm working on an animated title sequence thing for my final film project. he looks over at the store room which holds all the cameras and says, "this is the only camera out right now. the store room is locked." i don't see why he can't unlock it so i protest. he insists that i must take this camera or none at all. he says, "you can still do animation with this camera, all you have to do is draw out your cels on separate pieces of paper, attach them together and then flip through it like a flip book. it'll work just fine." he tries to illustrate how much more efficient and easy this procedure is by flipping a through a regular text-type book. i think he's just trying to g et rid of me, but that this flip book idea might not be so bad.
31 august
i am working at the paradox and decide that reedies need a healthful alternative to scones and cookies, so i make an enormous vat of salad with an oh-so-tasty vinagrette to be sold for 1$ a bowl. pretty reasonable, i think. i carve the word "salad" in curly letters on the big rubbermaid container and afterwards think that maybe this wasn't such a good idea since now i'll never be able to put anything else in there.
30 august
i am a junkie in a doctor's office and i steal great handfuls fo valium and stool softener. three guesses what movie i went to see last night.
21 august
two seemingly distinct dreams:
1. i am shuffling my tarot cards in the thought of doing a reading for myself. i am wearing my overalls and i'm shuffling one card flips up from the pack and tucks itself into the bib of my overalls. i figure this must make the card especially important so i put it back on the top of the deck. i flip over the card to see which it is and on it is a picture of a woman balancing four sword, however it is a major, not minor, card and its name is: THE CHEF. i freak a little because i've never seen this card before so i run around to a bunch o fother people to see if they've ever seen anything like it and they have not.
2. i am riding a bicycle down southbound I-5, but i don't want to be. i am very tired and scared of all the cars. it's also late at night and pouring rain. i'm soaked. up ahead in the road i see a car pulled over on the shoulder. a woman is crouched looking underneath the car by the muffler. something bad has obviously transpired. i pull over to help her and notice that there are two men in the car also yelling at her to hurry up and fix the damn car. she doesn't know what's wrong with it. together, the two of us manage to get the car into some kind of working order, though it's still not yet fixed. grateful, she drives me into town (where? i don't know -- northern cal, i suppose). all along the way the two men (one her husband, the other her brother -- possibly brother-in-law) tease, torment and harass the woman (driving) and i wonder if i can help her escape their tyranny
19 august
i'm at the hotcake house early in the morning, but it also old wive's tales -- a most paradoxical pairing. i am sharing a table, against my wishes, with a young girl and her father. dad seems to be perpetually distarcted by something behind him, thus is always turned around in his seat, leaving me to fend for myself with the young one. most uncharacteristically, i decide to order the sausage and biscuits with gravy. i imagine a plate of steaming, fresh, flaky biscuit with juicy, hunky patties of MEAT -- all smothered in solid fat, beige fluid. i wriggle with anticipation. the little girl asks me what i'm getting and i tell her; she promply declares that she is getting teh same thing. i tell her that this isn't an appropriate dish for little girls. i consider getting the fish instead.
18 august
i stumble into the secret underground filmmaking studios of reed college and find a mountain -- yes, a mountain! -- of splice tape. thinking about all the endless super8 editing i can do now, i declare proudly, "i'll never pay for splice tape again!"
13 august
my molars fall out -- they're huge! and i've got braces on again so the teeth have brackets on them. i think, "i knew that one molar needed to come out, but i didn't realize they all had to go!" i wonder to myself how long it will take for them to grow back.
10 august
something about running on the beach -- a dream directed by ray dennis steckler?! i romp in the water, twenty foot high waves wash out all the tourists. i'm wet, sick, so i go to the emergency room where they force me to eat a whole roasted chicken. i'm a vegetarian, i protest, but it's for my own good so they convince me to eat it. the skin of the chicken is also printed with words from some classic novels -- i can entertain myself, eat and be healed all simultaneously. someone in the emergency room says, "gee that chicken sure looks good" and someone else says, "i love that book!" the chicken is stuffed with some kind of bread product. 7 august
oops -- i've just sorta forgotten about this page. i've got a slew of dreams of which i've been trying to keep track with varying levels of success. the dreams are always so obvious in my mind when i wake up that i usually don't bother to write them down. the only one i can recall right now is a dream from about a week or so ago. i was at a party sitting on a couch. jim and celeste were there as was one huge, somewhat tamed, talking tiger. i believe that the tiger had come with jim and celeste, or perhaps they simply knew him from before. in any case, the tiger was quite friendly and spent most of the party chatting me up on the couch. he was nice, but i was still a little wary -- tame or not, tigers are still carnivores. the tiger asked if he could put my head in his mouth and i refused, saying that i knew what he really wanted to do was eat me. he insisted that he wanted no more than what he asked, but i knew what he was up to and i got ready to leave.

the rest of my dreams from this time have all been pretty much the same. i'll not bore you with the details -- and trust me, the details are boring -- but suffice it to say that they mostly have to do with the boy. blah blah blah. i'm terribly predictable.
6 july
i am at work, behind the bar trying to make whipped cream. but for some reason i keep trying to huff the nitrous as it comes out of the charger so the cream keeps coming ot flat. i am upset about not being able to combine the two things -- making good whipped cream and doing whippets. [for those playing along at home, just for the record, know that i have never in my life -- and certianly not at work -- done whippets. though i do not necessarily object to their being done, i think it is wholly wrong to attempt to huff the gas as it comes shooting out of the charger. it's a bad idea and i would never do it. just so you know.]
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jan-june '96
oct-dec '95